Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Cultivating the Mind of Love



(from an essay I wrote for World Ethics & Religion, 2010)


Before we begin, I ask everyone who is reading or listening to clear their minds and temporarily set aside any previous conception or critique you may have of Buddhism. One Zen teacher encourages students to "kill the Buddha,"   which means killing their mental construct of Buddha so that the real Buddha can be revealed.

Love is a concept, like beauty, which is subjective. Every person has their own experiences which build up their own idea of what love is. In Cultivating the Mind of Love, Thich Nhat Hanh shares the story of his first love, and uses his experiences to parallel the rudimentary metaphysics of Buddhism. Hanh demonstrates that we are all interconnected, and that to truly love one person is to love everyone and everything.

"Mahayana Buddhism was inspired by and created out of great love for all beings." Its purpose is to liberate all beings from suffering to Nirvana- "the extinction of afflictions and notions."  We hold as truth that all beings seek happiness and liberation from suffering. When beings are able to rid themselves of craving, ignorance, and hatred, also known as suffering, in their place comes peace and happiness.

It is important when seeing the world from Thich Nhat Hanh's point of view to understand the Buddhist idea of non-self. "A self is not possible without non-self elements."  Take the example of this piece of paper. Paper is made up of trees and chemicals. In order for trees to exist, the proper conditions need be present such as soil, seed, sunlight, and water. Without one of these parts, the tree, and in extension this piece of paper would not be possible. It is easy to understand how anything we perceive is actually made up of many different things, which themselves are all made of many different things, hence the interconnectedness of everything. "If we look deeply, we will remove these barriers between our mental categories and see the one in many and the many in the one, which is the true nature of inter-being."

Hanh tells specific moments in his life which had great impact on his motivations. He describes falling in love as an accident of consequence. "Think about it: the expression 'falling'; you trip into it." He never tried to fall in love with a nun when he was training to be a monk, and admits, "The moment I saw her, I recognized in her everything I cherished." Here, lies a new definition for love- the recognition of characteristics we cherish, or care for lovingly. This definition allows for loving not just other human beings, sex, drugs, and Rock n' Roll, but literally anything one can conceive.

Some may say that defining love in this way destroys its "specialness" or limits it in some way, however, the case is quite opposite. When one keeps in mind the true nature of inter-being, how all beings are inextricably linked, it's clear why love for one means love for all. "Your every look, smile, and word reaches faraway universes and influences every living and non-living being in the cosmos. Everything is touching everything else, everything is penetrating everything else."  There are commercials on television that depict scenarios where a tired, middle-aged housewife snaps out of her daily zombie-trance when someone holds the door for her. Feeling invigorated, she walks down the street and picks up an old man's cane which had fallen over and walks on. The old man, previously angry at the world puts on a smile and cooks dinner for his wife that night.  Practicing love and tolerance in all situations benefits not only yourself, but every one around you, everyone around them, and on and on until it comes back around. Some might recognize as "One Love."

This butterfly cause-and-effect isn't only positive, unfortunately. Just as good vibes can spread infectiously, so can the negative. Case in point- Jeremy is driving down the freeway singing to his tunes when all of the sudden he gets cut off by another car,  the driver of which is obviously not paying attention. Feeling frustrated going into work, Jeremy snaps at his secretary Barb before slamming the door behind him to his office. Fed up with all the work she does for him without even a, "Thank you," Barb decides that no job is better than this one and quits. Though the scenario is completely made up, the ideas shown by it are what matters. "Although the dharma is offered using concepts, it's possible to receive it without getting stuck in concepts."

In realizing that our "selves" are actually made up of "non-selves," the Bodhisattva vow of liberating all beings animate or inanimate becomes universal to all people. "The well-being of 'a' depends on the well-being of the 'non-a' elements. The well being of man depends on the well-being of non-man elements in nature." A is made up of everything not A (paper, trees, soil, etc.), so A is not A.  The self is non-self. These concepts seems difficult to understand, but when one takes time to see how even if very indirectly, any two things are interconnected, new understanding takes place. "To reduce suffering means to reduce the amount of ignorance."

In teaching these concepts, Thich Nhat Hanh reminds us that although "grasping reality with concepts and notions is like catching space with a net," "notions and concepts can be useful if we learn how to use them skillfully, without getting caught by them." There is an analogy in Buddhism which states that Buddhist theory is but a raft to get us across the river of suffering. Once on the other side, this raft is unnecessary because you have arrived. In this case, visualize Buddhism as a map. Notions and concepts such as "non-self" and "dharma" would be the maps which all lead to the big eXtinction- Nirvana. Maps can be used to get to your destination, but once you're there, you don't need it anymore. It'd be best to leave the map for someone else so they can find their way. Even better, go back and help people reach their destination. Because everything is connected, the best way to love one person is to love all people, and all things. In the words of Bob Marley, "One love, one heart, lets get together and we'll feel alright."

 Nhất, Hạnh. Cultivating the Mind of Love. Berkeley, CA: Parallax, 2008. Print. p. 87
 Ibid., p. 33
 Ibid., p. 78
 Ibid., p. 50
 Ibid., p. 84
 Ibid., p. ii
 Ibid., p. 8
 Ibid., p. 103
 Ibid., p. 114
 Ibid., p. 84
 Ibid., p. 109
 Ibid., p. 119
 Ibid., p. 56
 Ibid., p. 79
 Marley, Bob. One Love. Heartbeat Records, 2006. CD.

#self-improvement

No comments:

Post a Comment